Sayyidatuna Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) was the most favorite of the Prophet’s ﷺ wives of Madina. It is related that Amr ibn al-‘As said to the Prophet ﷺ: “Who is the most beloved person to you?” He said, “Aisha.” I asked, “Among the men?” He said, “Her father [Abu Bakr].” I said, “Who then?” He said, “Then Umar bin Al-Khattab.” He then named other men. (Bukhari)
Without a doubt, there is something special about Sayyidatuna Aisha that attracts every soul to her. Scholars say that it would take an entire work to explain all of the different sides of her personality and how the ummah could benefit from her unique knowledge. She sparks a fascination in the mind with her robust character. She brings a smile to the faces of those who hear her stories. She possesses an ability to inspire and captivate the heart. In truth, she embodies the essence of femininity and is a peak standard of what being a Muslim wife entails.
Sayyidatuna Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) was one of the most knowledgeable women to ever walk this earth. She narrated over 2,000 narrations (hadith), memorized the entire Qur’an, and habitually corrected the Companions (Allah be pleased with them). People flocked to her in order to seek her exceptional knowledge of the deen. She was a true scholar, and a woman well-versed in Islamic law. It is the claim of the scholars of Islam that without her, half of the knowledge of hadithwould have perished.
She was also eloquent in her speech. Musa Ibn Talha (Allah be pleased with him) said, “I did not see anyone more eloquent than Sayyidatuna Aisha.” Moreover, the Prophet ﷺ is related to have remarked upon her beauty. He said, “How white are your eyes.”
But this is not the end of her superb qualities – no, it is merely the beginning. She was youthful and playful, especially with her husband. She would amuse the Messenger of Allah ﷺ with her vigor. Sayyidatuna Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) relates: The Prophet ﷺ said to her, “Come I will race you” so I raced with him and I won. After I became heavier, he raced me and he won, so he laughed and said “this one for that one.” (Ahmad)
She also displayed an attractive jealousy over her husband. In fact, she was very jealous over Khadija (Allah be pleased with her). Sayyidatuna Aisha is reported to have said, “I was not jealous of any other wife of the Prophet ﷺ as I was jealous of Khadija (Allah be pleased with her) because of his constant mentioning of her and because Allah had commanded him to give her good tidings of a mansion in Paradise of precious stones. And whenever he sacrificed a sheep he would send a fair portion of it to those who had been her intimate friends. Many a time I said to him, ‘It is as if there had never been any other woman in the world except Khadija.’ ”
Her anger was innocent and light at heart, not overbearing and heavy. The Prophet ﷺ told Sayyidatuna Aisha, “I know well when you are pleased or angry with me.” Sayyidatuna Aisha replied, “How do you know that?” He said, “When you are pleased with me you swear by saying ‘By the God of Mohammad’ but when you are angry you swear by saying ‘By the God of Ibrahim’.” She said, “You are right, I just desert you name.” (Muslim)
She was vulnerable and did not fear to show her soft side to her husband. Rather, she looked for the Prophet ﷺ to rescue her. When she could not perform the rites of hajj due to the onset of her menstruation, the Prophet ﷺ found her crying. She let him see her weakness and did not hide her sincere tears. Once he realized what had happened, he comforted her by saying that this is what Allah Most High has willed for the daughters of Adam (peace be upon him).
When her menstruation finished and she completed the tawaf for hajj, she voiced her disappointment to the Prophet ﷺ and said, “Indeed, I feel like I did not do tawaf around the Ka’ba except for hajj.” The Prophet ﷺ clearly understood her need and instructed her brother, Abdur Rahman (Allah be pleased with him), to take her to Tan’im in order to enter into ihram for umra. (Muslim)
She was completely reliant on Allah. When she was accused of adultery, she turned to Allah for help and He Most High sent down revelation to confirm her innocence in the Qur’an. She was a strong Muslim woman. She bore with the rest of the Prophet’s ﷺ household in poverty and hunger, which often lasted for long periods. For days on end no fire would be lit for cooking or baking bread in the sparsely furnished house of the Prophet ﷺ and they would live merely on dates and water. Poverty did not cause her distress or humiliation, and when blessed with ease, it did not corrupt her style of life.
She was affectionate with her husband, and he in turn responded with wholesome tenderness.She would comb his hair while he lay in her lap. He would also lie in her lap reading the Qur’an while she was menstruating. The two would even share each other’s food. It is related that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ would place his mouth on top of the exact place of her drinking container where her mouth had touched. In a narration, Sayyidatuna Aisha shares ten reasons of how she was favored over the other wives, and of those reasons she mentions that she was the only wife in which the Prophet ﷺ would perform a ghusl with in the same container after marital relations.
The Prophet ﷺ adored her and specifically requested to be in her house when he was experiencing the sickness at the end of his life. At the exact time of the Prophet’s death, his head rested upon her (between her chest and lap), and it was in her quarters that the Prophet ﷺ was buried. Aisha relates that the Prophet ﷺ would ease her concerning death by saying “Verily, I see you as my wife in Jannah.” (Tabarani)
Upon studying their interactions as a couple, it is clear that Allah is teaching us lessons from their remarkable, heart-moving, love story. In the fast-paced world that we live within today, many women suffer from unhappiness and depression because they are super stressed from assuming too many responsibilities while also simultaneously believing that they are lacking ‘something’ despite how much they have. When we try to accomplish ‘everything’ without really asking ourselves if what is sought is even necessary for our long-term happiness and well-being, we will feel perpetually exhausted, overwhelmed, and dissatisfied.
Sadly, when wearing a frown becomes the latest fashion, our marriages will suffer. Men are quickly attracted to a woman who is fun, easy to please, and enjoys smiling and they are just as easily turned off from a woman who is moody, upset, and negative. A wife with a permanent scowl on her face will never win in her relationship. She may try to influence her husband with her misery, but men grow tired of this trick and eventually give up on wanting to put in the constant effort to please her.
Instead, if a woman desires for her husband to fall madly in love with her, then she must get in touch with the natural feminine powers that Allah has endowed her with, like Sayyidatuna Aisha did in her marriage. Indeed, Allah has created women with an innate ability to draw men in like magnets. A wife’s ability to instantaneously attract her husband is rooted in her expressing her unique feminine charm. When a wife shows that light-hearted, playful, affectionate side of her, she will find that her husband will be instinctively pulled towards her – enamored with an urge to want to hold onto her, cherish her, take care of her, and adore her.
Unfortunately, some women deem resorting to their femininity as a weakness because they mistakenly rule their angry emotions as strength. Yet, Sayyidatuna Aisha wasn’t weak and she had a loving, warm, friendly marriage with her husband due to her youthful nature. Our religion teaches us that untamed anger is the true weakness and flaw, and what makes a Muslim woman strong is the strength of her faith and how she acts upon it daily.
Moreover, Allah’s wisdom is NOT weak. He is the all-Wise and the Creator of every atom in this universe. He has placed within every woman a capacity to be at her feminine peak, and it is up to us to discover who she is in our relationship. When we deny the gifts that Allah has given us, we will lose the blessing. Instead, the way to appreciate the gift is to use it. Get reacquainted with the strengths of your feminine charm and don’t see them as weaknesses, but know that a woman’s feminine charm is what actually makes a marriage work and what drives a man crazy about a woman.
When in doubt of who she is, simply ask yourself: “If I was not stressed, angry, or unhappy, how would I interact with my husband?” Within this question lies the answer to unlocking your feminine charm.
If a Muslim wife switches on her feminine charm and makes it the dominant way that she interacts with her husband, her relationship with him will transform into something magnificent. Her husband will be her best friend, her lover, her protector, her provider, and her partner in this life and the Next inshaAllah.
Follow the way of our mother. She knew how to treat her husband in a way that inspired him to love her. Get in touch with your true self – the feminine that lives within you.
© Muslima Coaching, 2017.
