All marriages require consistent full-time work. Similar to your faith, love entails constant devotion.
Yet, there is a way to make the work easier – a simple trick that successful Muslim wives do which causes their exertion to feel effortless.
As a matter of fact, they reward their marriages with it countless times, every day. It is the greatest gift that you can give your marriage – namely, it is practicing gratitude (shukr).
Gratitude changes your life for the better. You cannot lose by being grateful. It is a win-win solution. It causes transformation at all levels: your spiritual being, your emotional welfare, and your personal relationship with your husband.
Allah Most High says: “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you.” (Qur’an, 14:7)
Gratitude at its heart means to be thankful for what Allah Most High bestows upon you in your life. By showing gratitude to Allah Most High for all the blessings that He has gifted you, Allah Most High will continue to give you more, especially within your marriage inshaAllah.
There may be tough times, but life is rough and smooth. If a believing woman wants to make it through this Life, her gaze has to remain on Allah Most High. By showing more gratitude to Allah Most High for your blessings, you increase in love for Him and long to be in His divine presence inshaAllah.
Some people find it hard to be grateful due to their negative emotional state. Yet, their gloomy outlook on life’s events only pushes them to sink further and tune out of reality. Being grateful starts with being present – you cannot appreciate your life when you’re not paying attention to it.
Without question, the blessings are raining down on us all the time. Allah Most High tells us in the Qur’an that even if you tried to count your blessings, you could not count them all.
When you start looking for what to be grateful about, your entire view on life changes in a moment; you quickly realize that you are tremendously blessed and Allah Most High never wronged you. Quite the opposite, He kept giving to you even in your state of ingratitude towards Him.
The Blessing Of Your Husband
The Prophet ﷺ said, “Whoever does not thank the people, does not thank Allah.” (Tirmidhi)
When you show gratitude towards your husband, you are also thanking Allah Most High. It works in your benefit too. Showing gratitude helps you to focus on the pluses in your relationship and overlook the minuses. This shift in perspective inspires you to remember why your husband is so special to you – that he is one of your biggest blessings.
The more you remember your husband’s positives, the more attentive you will be to graciously receiving whatever he gives you. The feminine is receptive; she is open to accepting whatever good comes her way. Whether it is that her husband buys her a gift, compliments her cooking, or carries the groceries, the feminine takes her husband’s thoughtfulness with a sense of instant gratification.
If you keep your eyes open for anything nice that your husband does, even if it’s not what you specifically had in mind, it won’t seem so difficult.
Practice gratitude every day in your marriage with these simple tips.
Tip #1: Relive the good times together.
Happy couples remind each other about the happy experiences that they shared together. The result of going down memory lane is that it can produce the same emotions in the mind that were first felt when the event actually occurred.
Choose moments that BOTH of you felt were enjoyable and pleasantly bring them up every now and then. You can even try this on your own and see how great it works. Close your eyes and envision the happiest moment that you’ve ever had in your life. Reminisce for a minute with a peaceful smile.
Tip #2: Thank him for anything that he does.
A wife’s saying “thank you” to her husband is the emotional equivalent of his saying “I love you” to her – it’s that important. Always be on the lookout for what he’s giving to you and your relationship – no matter how little it may be; thank him for it.
Men like to be thanked in more ways than one. They accept all forms of payment: affectionate hugs, passionate kisses, relaxing massages, and intimate lovemaking.
Not to mention, if you make a big deal out of a small favor that he does, he’s likely to want to do more things to please you in the future. The masculine’s response to a woman’s happiness and willingness to receive is to provide for her and to give her more.
Keep in mind that men are action-oriented; so their way of responding to gratitude is with more action. What women say with words, men usually say through their actions.
Tip #3: Smile.
When someone is doing nice things for you, it’s only natural that you will want to give back to them. One of the best gifts that you can give your husband is a smile.
The Prophet ﷺ said, “A smile in your brother’s face is charity.” (Tirmidhi)
When a man’s eyes set upon a woman with a beautiful smile, he is inspired to do something for her. When she receives his acts of kindness and thanks him, he is fueled to give more. It may not seem like a gift to you, but providing fulfills his sense of purpose as a man and a husband – it gives him reason to live.
Your husband wants to feel like he has something to do with that smile on your face; that’s what gives him joy. Smiling back at your husband is a sure way to gift him with a treasure.
It’s a beautiful and blissful cycle of worship that you can form as a habit in your marriage inshaAllah.
Smile. Receive. Thank. Receive more…
© Muslima Coaching, 2017.