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Is ‘My’ Reaction Justified?

How many times do we react to our personal circumstances without questioning if the extent of our behavior is truly justified?

We convince ourselves that because our husband got on our nerves, we are allowed to equally retaliate. Our children push our last button, and we let them know how hard they pushed it. Our in-laws may make us feel alienated, so we spend the rest of the week as their comrades by backbiting them.

In truth, we can sometimes respond in ways that put our practice of the deen’s teachings to shame. All of us need to pause and think clearly. This lifetime will pass us by quickly, and since the only thing that will follow us to our graves is our works, are we really thinking about which works will serve as our company?

After patiently tolerating the torture and persecution of the people of Makkah, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) fled from his home city to Ta’if, where he hoped that its people would listen to his divinely inspired message. Instead, they harshly rejected him, ordered gangs of the youth to stone and ridicule him, driving him out of their city in utter humiliation.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), who was bleeding from his wounds, overwhelmed with sorrow, and exhausted from being chased, took rest under a tree. He immediately turned to His Lord in a state of absolute destitution, begging for His aid. When he lifted his head towards the sky, a cloud sheltered him and he saw Angel Jibril (peace be upon him).

Angel Jibril (peace be upon him) called out saying:

“Allah has heard what your people have been saying to you, and how they have disputed you. Allah has sent the Angel of the Mountains to you so that you may order him to do whatever you wish to these people.”

The Angel of the Mountains called and greeted me, and then said: “O Muhammad! Order what you wish. If you like, I will cause the two mountains to fall upon them.”

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “No, for I hope that Allah will bring forth from their progeny people who will worship Allah Alone, and none besides Him.”

This was truly one of the greatest miracles and one of the most compassionate moments of our beloved Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace). Despite everything that he faced and being given a choice to destroy his own people, who inflicted so much pain and harm upon him, he chose the way of mercy.

What an astonishing lesson of how to react in moments of frustration, exhaustion, and hopelessness. Wouldn’t annihilating his foes in a situation like that be justified?

So your husband did something annoying, but ask yourself: “Is my reaction justified?”

Your housework tired you for the day, but ask yourself: “Is my reaction justified?”

Your son forgot to do his homework, but ask yourself: “Is my reaction justified?”

Your daughter spilt milk on the floor after you mopped it, but ask yourself: “Is my reaction justified?”

Your in-laws ignored you at the family gathering, but ask yourself: “Is my reaction justified?”

Reflect my dear sister, reflect. A day will come when the All-Knowing, Most-Just will inform us of what was really justified.

© Muslima Coaching, 2016

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Naielah Ackbarali

Ustadha Naielah Ackbarali is the founder and CEO of Muslima Coaching. She is passionate about inspiring Muslim women by way of spreading the beauty of living an Islamic life. Ustadha Naielah is a trained strategic relationship coach, certified life coach, and a certified NLP Master Practitioner. Combined with her knowledge of the shariah sciences, coaching experience, and personal marriage of 15 years, she also offers faith-based marriage coaching and relationship advice.