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A Woman’s Neverending To-Do-List

by John Gray, Ph.D., best-selling author of Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress

The more stress a woman feels, the more overwhelmed she becomes. There are too many things for her to do before she can relax. Trying to do the impossible leads her to exhaustion.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. The more exhausted she feels, the more urgent it becomes for her to get everything done. Stress leads to being overwhelmed, being overwhelmed leads to exhaustion, exhaustion leads to urgency, and finally, urgency leads to more stress. In this way, a negative cycle is created.

When a woman undertakes activities that create oxytocin, her stress levels drop, her sense of being overwhelmed disappears, and her energy returns. When women have plenty of energy, they take great pleasure from their responsibilities. She still has never-ending to-do list, but it is no longer as daunting. With her stress levels lowered and her energy restored, a woman is happy and proud to do it all.

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Women become exhausted not because their muscles are breaking down but because they are not making enough oxytocin. As their stress levels rise and their bodies produce more cortisol, their bodies are unable to burn fat for energy, but process carbohydrates and sugar.

In their red-alert state, they are left with cravings for carbohydrates, caffeine, or sugar for short-term energy, which then very quickly leaves them even more exhausted. The solution for women is not taking more time to rest, but finding oxytocin-stimulating activities to lower stress levels.

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Naielah Ackbarali

Naielah Ackbarali is the founder and CEO of Muslima Coaching. Naielah is a qualified CBT therapist, an experienced Muslim marriage counselor of over 10 years, and an Islamic studies teacher for over 15 years. She obtained a Master of Arts (Level 7) in Counseling & Psychotherapy Practice at Bath Spa University, earning a Distinction. She also received a Postgraduate Certificate (Level 7) in Psychological Therapies at Queen Mary University of London. She has a Master Practitioner Diploma in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) accredited by the British Psychological Society (BPS). She has also completed training in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy and gained a Diploma in Counseling Skills. Naielah is a trained strategic relationship coach, certified life coach, and a certified NLP Master Practitioner. Combined with her knowledge from Islamic studies, coaching experience, and personal marriage of almost 20 years, she offers faith-based marriage coaching to couples, wives, and singles. She has helped hundreds of women and couples with almost a decade of coaching experience with clients from all over the world (USA, Canada, UK, Europe, Australia, Africa, & the Middle East). She is an author of several marriage books and has been featured on the Islam Channel and British Muslim TV. She was also selected to do an exclusive interview with BRAINZ Magazine.