5 Questions To Ask A Potential Spouse

by Naielah Ackbarali

When you ask the right questions BEFORE deciding to marry, it lessens the chance of having conflict and misunderstandings over certain issues AFTER marriage. Try these:

1. Who does the housework? Who pays the bills?

Ambiguity in roles and responsibilities can create issues. Avoid unnecessary conflict by talking about your views and making your expectations super clear. By agreeing on a framework, you will learn how to cooperate.

2. What did you like and dislike about your childhood?

Your childhood experiences usually mold your character and values. It is important that you understand your future spouse’s background and how that could potentially impact your relationship together.

3. How do you react when you are upset?

Everyone deals with anger, hurt, disappointment, and sadness in different ways. Make sure the person you marry handles their emotions in a healthy way and will not dump their negativity on you.

4. Are you a spender or a saver?

Take care to marry someone who deals with money in a way that you respect. Don’t assume that your future spouse will adopt your way. Double check how they live life now and inquire about their habits.

5. Which scholars do you follow and why?

Religion should be what brings you together, not what tears you apart. Marry someone who learns from similar scholars and holds views that you can tolerate. Make a goal to unite as spiritual partners in your marriage.

Check out our full list of questions at this link.

Naielah Ackbarali

Naielah Ackbarali is the founder and CEO of Muslima Coaching. Naielah is a qualified CBT therapist, an experienced Muslim marriage counselor of over 10 years, and an Islamic studies teacher for over 15 years. She obtained a Master of Arts (Level 7) in Counseling & Psychotherapy Practice at Bath Spa University, earning a Distinction. She also received a Postgraduate Certificate (Level 7) in Psychological Therapies at Queen Mary University of London. She has a Master Practitioner Diploma in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) accredited by the British Psychological Society (BPS). She has also completed training in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy and gained a Diploma in Counseling Skills. Naielah is a trained strategic relationship coach, certified life coach, and a certified NLP Master Practitioner. Combined with her knowledge from Islamic studies, coaching experience, and personal marriage of almost 20 years, she offers faith-based marriage coaching to couples, wives, and singles. She has helped hundreds of women and couples with almost a decade of coaching experience with clients from all over the world (USA, Canada, UK, Europe, Australia, Africa, & the Middle East). She is an author of several marriage books and has been featured on the Islam Channel and British Muslim TV. She was also selected to do an exclusive interview with BRAINZ Magazine.